Today i did an Indonesian speech test, where i should giving the lecture in front of the class.
At first i felt confident with my matter and i was really inpatient. For the rare time i wanted to exercise my public speaking skill. I was happy af. And i brought my “me” topic, so i felt it would be success.
One by one of my friends gave their best, and i still had been waiting for my name. Finally the teacher called my name, but suddenly when i faced everyone in my class, i lost myself and blank attacked. I was nervous unexpectedly and couldn’t speak loudly. And i didn’t get a really good score, perhaps. I was very disappointed 😦
Honestly i can do more. And that is what i regretted. I failed to enjoy myself, and now i think what can i do? What do i love? And how to be more passionate?
I’m almost bad at anything
And definitely i hate me.
And the fact that i lived in around of majestic people who can do everything, who always walk confidently, grow up closer to be whom they’re have been dreaming to be. And what am i do here? Just laugh.
And tomorrow i have to do math exam, but i have no motivation since i got a bad result on the speech test. And i wonder how to manage it ..
Yep, it’s not the first time i rant about how silly i am, how i hate me, and how i feel useless. But sometimes it needed to do improvement lmao.
But I’m serious when i say i depressed sometimes. I cried deep and there’s no one can understand me. When i tried to share it with my friend, the only i got is nothing. I got no motivation there, no advice, and it didn’t help me at all.
Okay enough for today, maybe i should get a life (re: preparing homework and exam)
Have a good night there